May 20th, 2017

My knee is the most disabling thing I have to deal with now. It’s been almost ten years since the car accident changed my life. I feel like the disabling factors are never ending but hidden. When you look at me, sitting still, you’d never think I was disabled. I don’t refer or think of myself as disabled because I can do so many things. 
The first hidden factor showed up when I was home from hospital and ‘recovered.’ Fatigue, hit me like the Black Plague. With that double vision and vertigo decided to show themselves. I learned to deal with those symptoms by getting prism lenses and a prescription for modafinil. It didn’t fix the issues but gave me a coping mechanism. Fast forward a few more years and I have more issues come up. Since relearning to walk, I’ve always hyper extended my right knee, with every step I take. It never used to hurt and I never used to think about it. I would just walk, lock my knee and feel happy and proud of myself for walking. Now, I can walk for a few hours pain free. If I don’t rest in the middle, I get a shooting pain in my kneecap, almost like a pinging. Which later becomes a dull ache up my thigh and down my shin. I still have all the other factors. Just because one factor changes to two factors does not mean the first factor went away completely. I’m wondering will they ever stop? Or just become more and more?

October 6th, 2016

Forget about the fact that I can’t run, skip 

or drive a car. I came to terms with those 

things. They’re like the fact that Santa 

isn’t real. It hurt when you first found out 

but you’ve known the truth for many 

years now. It stopped upsetting you a 

long time ago. He’s just not real. I’m just 

not going to run. There’s always that 

slim, minute, possibility that one day 

something will just snap back together in 

my brain and I’ll run after the ice cream 

truck but I don’t really foresee that 

happening. If it does happen, it will cause 

me pain in my knee that I don’t want to 

deal with, therefore I wouldn’t do it 

twice. What upsets me now is dancing. I 

used to be a good dancer, I’m not talking 

about ballet, I’ve kind of banished the 

thought of me doing ballet from my 

mind. The memory just upsets me too 

much, how graceful I used to move. I can 

hardly walk gracefully now. I’m talking 

about just dancing to the rhythm of 

anything. I used to be really good at that 

and I miss it. I watched this video of a 

woman who danced for her husband at 

their wedding and I instantly felt a sharp 

pain in my heart and shed a few tears. I 

felt sadness because I can’t dance like 

that for my husband. In an instant I was 

reminded how fortunate I am to have my 

husband. I feel blessed every morning I 

wake up because he’s waking up right 

beside me and will be there every 

morning for the rest of our lives. He 

accepts everything about me and loves 

my quirks. He’s my favourite, he’s my 

everything.

I married my sunshine



Nine years to the day of my accident I married my best friend, my hero, my sunshine. It was a day full of warmth and happiness, the happiest day of my life. Everything about it was perfect.

The best part about the day was marrying my soulmate and replacing the meaning of the day. I’ll no longer think of the accident on August 27th, instead I’ll think of our wedding. It’ll forever be a happy memory now. I’m so excited for our future together.

Our wedding was held at Rowena’s Inn, just outside of Harrison BC. The beauty of the scenery was breathtaking. The food was delicious and the dancing was very fun.

We’d like to thank everyone who helped make our day great. All the people who helped plan, everyone who spoke and everyone who came out to celebrate with us. We love you.

 

 

 

This is Poppie, our 8 week old black lab.

Now what

Ok, I’ve ‘recovered’ from a brain injury. I’m not sure if anyone has ever recovered from a Traumatic Brain Injury but I’m happy with what I can do. It’s highly unlikely going to constant therapies would be beneficial now. I can do a lot of things however a lot of those things are challenging. I have trouble walking long distances. I have bad balance everyday. I suffer from extreme fatigue. I can’t hold my head straight, I hold it tilted to the right, almost like I’m asking question. It’s very difficult for me to concentrate my eyes at anytime of the day, meaning I get double vision. I get neck, lower back and hip pain. If I push myself I suffer from extreme vertigo. I don’t drive so my independence is limited. I can take the bus on my own now! But that can be quite tiring. So it’s a question of now what?
I fell in love with the most phenomenal man and we’re going to be married this August. He’s my home. I can’t believe I found real true unconditional love. He understands, accepts and loves me.

“The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.”

Happiness is an emotion that means something different to everyone. What makes you happy? Is it an object? Or maybe it’s a place. Or is it a person? Maybe it’s a possession. Or maybe it’s the physical act of doing something. The level of joy anyone feels will differ from the joy someone else feels when they do the same activity. Some people need to travel the world to feel happy and some people are quite content staying home. That’s ok; it’s just human nature and the difference between two people. It also comes down to what everyone has experienced in his or her lives. I feel joy when I walk to the kitchen and I feel joy when I jump. Whatever makes you happy; never forget to be grateful for the small things like walking to the kitchen, eating an apple or washing your hands in clean water, that runs out of a tap, after you use the toilet. Not everyone is as privileged and lucky as us.

Happy New Year

Life is a big painting of moments. Happy moments, sad moments, exciting moments, scary moments, nerve racking moments; they’re all part of the painting of your life. 2015 was full of huge, colorful moments for me. One of them being, buying a house and entering adulthood. I’m pretty sure buying a house falls under the category of adulthood. My utmost favorite moment of my entire life was on February 12TH, in Mexico when my best friend asked me to marry him. I’m so excited for August 27th, 2016 to say I do and become his wife. 

Today 

8 years ago my entire life changed because of a dump truck. I used to think it would never be as good as it was but I was wrong. I’m so much happier now and on this day, next year I get to marry my best friend. He’s not just my best friend though. He’s the guy I dreamed about marrying. Sometimes girls dream about marrying a prince or a pop star but for me, since I laid my eyes on him, it was always Tyler. He’s changed my life for the better and made me want to keep working to become the best I can be. I still believe that one day I’ll run after our future kids because of the way he believes in me. He has never ever questioned anything I think I’m capable of doing and because of that I keep trying things. That’s a trait I want my children to have. I don’t want to have kids who give up because something’s hard. Life’s hard and unfair, I don’t think anyone understands that better than my family and I. That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with Tyler, he doesn’t give up, he works hard to accomplish anything and everything. I’m so excited to finally say ‘I do’ and marry him. He treats me like a princess and for that he’ll always be my prince.

My fiancé

I can’t believe that I get to call my best friend, my fiancé now.
Our wedding will be August 27th 2016. We want to turn a terrible memory of a day into the happiest day of our lives. Gordon wanted to propose on that day this year but felt it was too long a wait.
Good things are possible after a brain injury and you can still live your life exactly how you always dreamed.